Here are a list of various predictions I have for what will happen over the next five years:

• Apple is forced to unlock the iPhone after the U.S. Supreme Court denies to hear its appeal of a lawsuit filed by the EFF.
• iPhone OS is still not Flash enabled, however the suit requires Apple to fully open the source code of iPhone OS.
• Mac OS X becomes legitimately available for PCs. InsanelyMac and InfiniteMac close down, as they have no purpose left.
• Boot Camp for PCs is released open-source. GRUB becomes obsolete.
• Mandriva, TurboLinux, openSUSE, and Fedora merge into one hyper-distribution of Linux.
• Canonical takes over the Debian Project, merging the mainline and fork back together.
• SEGA West further consolidates, closing down all US-based functions. All nine Community Managers engage in a fight to the death for the four openings left.
• SCEA is shut down, its function effectively split between Europe and Japan.
• Nintendo releases the successor to the Wii, which incorporates cloud-based gaming. It’s jokingly referred to as the “Skynet”.
• Steam buys out SecureROM, and suppresses the once vaunted DRM mechanism to the delight of pirates everywhere.
• The Pirate Bay wins their appeal. The MPAA succeed in appealing the appeal; by then, newly-elected Sweedish PM Richard Falkvinge issues a general pardon and/or amnesty, much to the chagrin of the other WIPO signatories.
• Sonny Bono Copyright Term Extension Act of 1998 is overturned in a overwhelming display of near-unanimity (the sole dissenter being his widow, Mary).
• Defense Of Marriage Act is overturned in the US Supreme Court as 2 conservative justices are replaced with more liberal members, giving Republicans new reason for fear.
• A constitutional amendment barring states from defining marriage by either law or State constitutional amendment is passed with overwhelming support from Middle America.
• After the Mossad screws the pooch over an operation against the West, public opinion goes sharply against Likud. Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu is toppled as the people overhwhelmingly vote mainly Labor (the more conservative voters pulling for minority partner Kadima). The new Israeli government makes a seperate peace with the Mahmoud Abbas-led West Bank.
• Benedict XVI dies. The ensuing Papal Conclave is deadlocked on his successor.
• The Church of England votes to solemnize gay and lesbian marriages. Peter Akinola and the Global South primates leave the Anglican Communion in protest and form their own union.
• Dissenting churches and dioceses are brought back into line in the Episcopal Church USA, the last act of outgoing Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori. Gene Robinson is elected Presiding Bishop.
• Mass anarchy in the People’s Republic of China causes the Communists to open talks with the Dalai Lama.
• Nationalists gain the upper hand in Northern Ireland, and in the ensuing plebiscite, vote to leave the United Kingdom and join the Republic of Ireland. Much work is credited to an accounting scandal in the DUP, and the work of future Taoiseach Gerry Adams from Sinn Féin.
• The British cabinet is embroiled in sex scandals, 3 of whom are engaged in a love triangle. Five general elections later, no party is able to form a majority.
• France elects their first Socialist president since Mitterand.
• Silvio Berlusconi is toppled from power in another Romano Prodi led government, convicted, and sentenced to life inprisonment.
• Greece forced to unban video games to get their financial house in order.
• Hosni Mubarak voted out of office. Despite vowing to stay on, he reluctantly steps down after threats from the US, allowing Mohammed El-Baradei to become the first fairly elected President of Egypt.
• Helen Zille becomes the first white President of South Africa since de Klerk, heading a coalition of Democratic Alliance and Congress of the People.
• AOL shuts down all dialup services, followed swiftly by MSN, AT&T, Verizon, Earthlink, and Qwest
• Houston Astros become the only MLB team to have never won a World Series, despite winning back-to-back National League Championships.
• Houston Texans narrowly lose the Super Bowl the season before going 0-16 and tying the Detroit Lions record

Apologies for the sexism, but damn if it ain’t true.

Remember, ladies

“NO WAY

NO HOW

NO MCCAIN!”

-Hilliary Clinton

Continue reading “McCain is going to lose III: The video”

“Why did you do that? You realize he thinks you’re trying to get him into a three-way with us now, don’t you?”
– Dante Hicks from “Clerks II”

It’s now official, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has officially jumped onto the bad ship Lolipop (a.k.a. the John McCain Republican ticket), surprising (read: completely pissing off) the party elders. Palin, elected in 2006, is barely in her first term as governor, when McCain asked if he could tap that her to be his running mate. Since her only political credentials are:

1. America’s Hottest Governor (according to News@AOL)
2. Membership in the National Rifle Association
3. Having a kid in iRaq
4. Not having an abortion

One can only come to the following conclusion (and mind you this is pure conjecture, based on prior scandals, personal bias, etc. and should not really be taken seriously, but fills all the facts, since McCain is a complete hypocrite for appointing her after railing against Obama’s inexperience)

• McCain wants to get him, his wife Cindi, and Palin together in a three-way